“Why is it so different from the beginning?”
“The wild time from the beginning of the relationship is over: how do we cope with everyday life?”
“How much closeness can/do I want to give or have?
“Why does the daily routine kill so much of our feelings for each other?”
“Why does everyday life eat all the beauty we had?”
“How do we remain a couple as well as being responsible parents for our children?”
“Why the same argument again?”
“Why is our sex so rare/ boring/irrelevant?
“Is there still hope for our relationship?”
“Should we/ can we separate?”
“How can we make the separation bearable for all of us?”
“How can we remain good parents despite our separation?
These, and a few more, are typical questions that couples ask in my practice.
Relationships are complicated and they don’t always unfold the way we want them to or how the rose-tinted glasses at the beginning of our relationships make us believe. As in any relationship, differences of opinion are normal. The question is: how do we deal with them!
Couples therapy might be a good idea if you both have already talked about important topics several times, you both have looked at them from different perspectives and you still could not find a solution that makes you both happy.
The main aim of couples therapy is to find a way to make it easier for the couple to live together (or to separate) and to make them both more satisfied. Depending on the problem area, this may involve a more practical approach (e.g. how do we manage to distribute the tasks more fairly in order to have more time together?) or a more profound search for causes (e.g. why is it so difficult for partner A to allow closeness?).
However, it is always about the shared experience as a couple. You can only solve the problems you have together. Therefore, relationship problems should always be discussed in a couples’ setting.